Take up your Cross and Follow Me

When He had called the people to  Himself,  with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.  For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.  For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? -Mark 8:34-36, NKJV

It's 3:15am...it feels like tomorrow is the first day of school, or the first day of college, the night before Christmas, my birthday morning, the night before my wedding, maybe even the day before my first job...the feeling of anticipation. Something good is going to happen to me. The shifting of all that once was into what it is that will be. I see it as a stepping stone, a marker, a line in the sand, a time in my personal history that I can look back and say "This truly changed me." And it's a little scary, a little unexpected, a little terrifying, and a little exhilarating all at the same time. You see, I'm used to routine. I'm used to having all my necessities and my luxuries, eating when I want, sleeping when I feel tired, making my own schedule, and being prepared. I've looked at the pile of clothes to be packed, random toiletries and necessities, food and snacks...the contents of the things I absolutely cannot live without. What if my luggage gets lost? What if I get sick and can't eat? What if I'm asked to speak in front of a crowd and I don't know what to say? What if I get malaria, yellow fever, meningitis (insert name of other deadly sounding disease here)? What if I forgot something really important? What am I going to do on the plane for so long? These are the honest questionings and anxieties the night before I leave for Ghana, Africa. I wonder if these are some of the questions the disciples had when Jesus asked them to follow Him. I believe "taking up your cross" means letting go of your comfort, your routine, who it is that you have been and trading it in for who you will be. It's a stretching, a painful process at times. Unfamiliar, uncertain, unknown. Because...when you choose to follow God, it's a little scary, a little unexpected, a little terrifying...but mostly exhilarating. Because...you know He will go with you, you know He will guide you, you know that you have angels protecting you every step of the way, you know He will give you supernatural strength and rest, you know He will speak every needed word to the person who needs it, you know that miracles can manifest when you step out in faith, even when slightly terrified, and say "Yes" to the things of God. It's not easy, comfortable, foreseeable, planned, prepared, or expected...but I'm okay with that. It sounds riveting. Because something good is going to happen to me. And I can trust that God has me covered. Because even though carrying His cross isn't easy, the journey is way more exciting and liberating. For those of you that would like to pray, my goal is to post about the trip periodically while we are there. I leave today at 4:15pm, e-mail me at mary.clairemarshall@gmail.com if you would like a copy of the itinerary. Thank you for your support, encouragement, and blessing. I thank God for this opportunity and cannot wait to share the amazing things He does in the people of Ghana...and in me.